Dealing with Depression at Home/Office
Depression is a difficult subject to talk about. It is even more difficult to live thing. I have lived with depression for more than two decades. After a while, there were some things I’ve learned about how to get along without giving up.
I want to start with a disclaimer: these are my personal experiences. I’m not a doctor, nor am I qualified to diagnose or treat any strange given. I learned everything I can about my own situation and how depression works in general, but always seek a professional lawyer for your personal situation. That said, here are some things that helped me. And if you’re on the other side of the fence and want to help a friend who seems depressed, our guide here can help with that.
How I can help a friend who seems depressed?
Dear Lifehacker, my friend lately she has not been herself. She seems very sad and withdrawn, and I …
Their self-perceptions are often inaccurate
The central problem of depression is that it distorts reality. Not only do the things you enjoy usually seem less fun, but have difficulty seeing the positive aspects of himself. Depression tends to cling to go and negative thoughts over and over again until it is convinced that the worst must be true.
“I’ll never get out of this routine.”
“Nobody really cares.”
“I’m not good at anything.”
“There is no reason to go on.”
The voice that says to give is very strong. It is difficult to question those beliefs, not only because they are true, but because even could be in a situation that seems to be true. The key to remember is that perception does not equal reality.
Set aside for a moment depression. Even among successful people who do not suffer from depression, the disconnect between perception and reality is relatively common. To use an example that we have discussed before, impostor syndrome occurs when it feels like everything around is more talent and success, while you’re pretending. It also occurs regardless of the level of success a person achieves. This is just one of many tricks your brain plays on you.
Feeling as if he’s faking? That might not be a bad thing
For the vast majority of people, trust and ease come with practice and realization. But…
The problem is that depression takes away much of the motivation you need to fight these inconsistencies. Someone who does not suffer from depression may feel like a fake, but remind themselves that everything is in your head and everyone feels the same way. A person with depression, by definition, have difficulty doing this. In my personal experience, I have found that even when circumstances changed and he had evidence to the contrary, still thought the worst of myself, simply because that was what made my brain. No matter how much external validation that I have.
It is a hard fact to consider. Depression says you’re different and no, really, you are the exception to the rule. For this reason, it is so important during those high moments (ish) to remember that just because you think something about yourself not mean it’s true.
How you feel is completely valid
Given the above situation, it is understandable that the natural reaction would be to tell someone suffering from depression that what they feel is irrelevant and does not take into account their emotions. After all, you’re not really a loser, right? So go for it! Get your happy in the face. You do not have a factual argument for why you should be sad, ergo sadness, obviously, should disappear, right?
Except that is not how it works. His emotions (and everyone else’s for that matter) are not linked intrinsically to the facts. Even if you know intellectually that has valuable features, a promising future, or a very good present life, that does not guarantee that feel good about it. That’s the whole point. Depression is not sadness be perfectly justified. It is to be unhappy despite their circumstances.
How do you feel with depression is valid. You do not have to justify your feelings or defend them. As long as their actions do not harm yourself or others, you may feel you need to feel. Everyone feels things are not perfectly reflect your situation. Suffering from depression does not mean that you are in a special category in which you and only you are not allowed to feel certain things. It just means you need to deal with their emotions in a different way. Where others might be able to instinctively separate feelings of reality, you need a few extra steps, and maybe a little help.
You need other people
Depression is isolating. actively undermining their relationships and encouraged to break the connections to say that people do not care, they do not understand, and they do not need. The truth is that it does. Because depression makes it difficult to accurately assess your situation, the entry of others becomes more important.
The scariest part about depression is that it is in his head. With a cold, you can point to the body part that is afflicted. With depression, you can not always know what feelings it is based on reality and are over-reactions. Talking to others is one of the most important ways you can learn to distinguish between the two.
Talking to others about your depression is uncomfortable. Some people can be lucky enough to have true friends who are willing to listen and understand. Others may not be so lucky. If you do not have a friend who can talk to (or are unable to provide the listener needs), there are always avenues you can explore to find some help. More importantly, there is nothing wrong with that.
How to find someone to talk to when you can not afford therapy
We talked about how to find a great doctor and how to find a therapist or counselor, but if the …
It’s OK to seek help
There is a tendency to believe that suffer from depression means is defective. We are bombarded with news and statistics that tell us how fundamentally any mental illness makes us broken (like “Depression causes suicide” or “Autism makes mass murder”). But the reality is not so simple. And depression does not mean it is broken.
Depression is a maladjustment. The way we react to emotions when we are depressed is not calibrated the same way as others. It becomes habit of being negative and difficult to learn the proper way to react or how to feel some positive emotions. That does not mean you can not. No you’re missing a happy gland. You are out of alignment.
Seeking help for depression is no different than going to a doctor for a cold, a sprained wrist, or even just a checkup. We all have to check in on our physical health from time to time. It should be as natural to consult expert on mental health. There’s no shame in it and no reasonable person should make you feel bad for wanting to help. Not only that, but aid can work.
How do I select a therapist or counselor?
Dear Lifehacker, things have been very hard for me lately, and I’m thinking about talking …
It not always has to be like
Depression is not a “cure”. Unlike a cold, or chickenpox, or even cancer, there is one thing you can point to in the body and say “Once this is gone, you’re all better!” Depression is on your mind. Depression is, in a way, part of his personality. Even if you stop being depressed, you shape how you are feeling. You will not necessarily be completely separated from it.
You may feel differently, however. We have touched on neuroplasticity before, but the basic idea is that the brain is able to change. How to act, we form habits, and even the environment we are exposed to can affect the way we think. As recently as the mid-20th century, it was commonly believed among neuroscientists that the brain does not change after infancy. This idea is no longer an accepted fact.
Neuroplasticity, apart from having a wide range of scientific impacts, it means that the habits and patterns of the brain that has now not have to stay the same forever. It is not an easy process of change. It can take a lifetime of adjustment. You can adapt and deal with it, but keep the ghost hanging on the back of your mind. Everyone is different and there is no perfect solution that everyone experiences the same way.
What it does mean, however, that when your friends tell you that there is hope, which are not bad. Even if you’ve been unhappy for years (which more accurately describes my personal history), there is the possibility, provided they do not give up, which can be adjusted. There is a chance that things can improve. And when you’re battling depression, that little hope can only be the difference between life and death ….