10 easy tips for dealing with difficult people
Whether it is your colleague, your neighbor or your child, sometimes people can be extremely difficult. If you’ve been dealing with someone putting up tons of resistance, you know that things can quickly escalate out of control.
As a coach who specializes in turning around conflict situations, there are commonalities that are present in all types of conflict – whatever the situation.
What can you do about it? How can you break up and dissolve the resistance that is building in your relationship?
You want to get your point of view but do not want to fuel the fire. Even if you know what to do, in a heat moment, you need to know what you are against. You must think strategically if you want to move forward and make the most of their particular situation. Much of this process is to stop, think and do the unexpected.
Here are some simple and effective tips to turn any situation into a difficult person:
You would be surprised at how simple this action will do. A common reason people resist because they do not feel heard or understood. Listening to validate feeling important is the fastest way forward.
2. Think like them.
Imagine that you are in their shoes for a while. What do they want? If you were in their situation, how do you feel? Only this trick will take you away, because most people see a point of view: his own. Big problem solvers can change perspective.
3. Do not resist.
What you resist persists. People tend to resist more when you resist them. Spend some extra time to make their point of view and ask questions to understand their point of view (and nod, yes, as if you understand).
4. While listening, tilt your head slightly.
We communicate not only in words but with our body language. When you tilt your head slightly, people feel heard. In addition, this trick brings you to really listen more closely.
5. Get to know your outcome.
Before you call, stop and think about how you feel as a result (relief). He also knows how you want to feel (validated). Finally, it should be flexible (as you want them to be, too).
6. Be open to the biggest lesson.
Most of the time, there is a much more life lesson to learn, apart from the situation where someone is difficult. It might be to show you how you relate to the general population, how you will create conflicts, or what triggers the conflict within you. Be open to the lesson that is bigger than the situation itself.
7. Use strategic influence.
Find out who influences the hard person and see if they can help you tell. Think outside the box and I know you have a lot of roads to where you want to go.
8. Create a link.
Sometimes you can change the subject and agree on something quite different at hand to create a link with the person. Even a negative link might do the trick but be careful not to create a habit of negative link.
9. Reduce the situation.
Do not feed the negativity. Great answers and long email responses can evolve into a difficult situation. Do not call the behavior of the person with a great response, but, quietly, listen carefully. The person will not feel defensive, but will feel understood.
10. Discontinue the pattern.
People often behave like robots. We shoot all the time and often react to a story we do in the head. When dealing with someone difficult, break the pattern by a completely off topic matter. This will compensate for their mental history, and you can approach the situation more proactively than defensively.