How to Win Friends and Influence People ?

Books on How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of best-selling self-help books of all time. The book has influenced many people in recent years, Warren Buffett Charles Manson. These two people, Buffet and Manson, really express how strange it is Carnegie’s book in the modern era. We’ll dive in.

This is part of the series of books critical of Lifehacker. Not all tip life can be summarized in a blog post, so we decided to revisit some of our favorite books change lives for more detailed information on the most important questions of life.

How to win friends and influence people is a book that you can read in a couple of different ways, and few signs that divides the two intentions of the book much more than originally planned. While people like Buffett appreciated for their management techniques, it is also easy to see how you can use these same techniques to evil. In other words, depending on what you are, you can read the book Carnegie two ways to win friends and influence people. What route you take can change how you feel about the book, yourself, and your relationships.

Who this book is for

Therefore, it is a bit of a split between who exactly How to Win Friends and Influence People is, and Pollyannaish philosophy that guides many of the principles here are clearly latest best-selling self-help books as influences secret. extreme optimism comes across many Carnegie techniques, which include suggestions to smile more and give heartfelt thanks. How to Win Friends offers a lot of advice for people who deal with business relations or do a lot of public speaking. It is also common denounce as an excellent way to overcome social anxiety, because it describes some simple techniques that meet new people a little easier.

On the other side, How to Win Friends is also full of all sorts of subtle manipulation techniques, so if that’s what you like, you can find plenty of advice here. The most obvious example of this comes in chapter seven, which focuses on how to “let the other person feel the idea is his.” This idea may sound familiar to anyone who has seen Inception.
How to plant ideas in someone’s mind

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What you’ll get

According to the book jacket, inside How to win friends and influence people is a guide to making a good first impression, a good way to criticize people, tricks to be better in conversation, and a handful of other things that basically boils down to “deal with people.”

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Carnegie sharing these tips in a format that has since become fairly standard in self-help books, opens the way this board will change your life, provide many examples where this has worked in the real world and close the sum of a sentence. Each chapter takes a principle, then we are grouped into themes such as “fundamental techniques in people management” or “be a leader. How to change people without offending or Arousing Resentment “The book is also a Dale Carnegie training tool, but the courses are not necessary.

In short, you get a lot of tips for navigating small talk, business closures, and negotiation to get what you want.

One tip that will remove

Since I am not particularly interested in improving my sales techniques, I find the theme of the book really revolved around a tip: pay attention to people because people like when they paid attention to. Wikipedia has a list of all the “key” one sentence in the book, if you do not feel like reading the whole, and are often tactical sense. For example, here are six ways to make people like you:

Become genuinely interested in other people.
Remember that the name of a person, that person, the sound the sweetest and most important in all languages.
He is a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Speaking in terms of interest in the other person.
Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
Everything is pretty simple. Although it was revolutionary to hear that people tend to like more when you listen to them in 1936, which is a bit silly reading now because everything seems obvious.

our decision

While Carnegie itself is quite pleasant throughout the book, suggestions are often simplified or modified. For example, you can not shocking that one of the main tips to win friends is to smile more, but the point goes a little too far for my taste:

You do not feel like smiling? And? Two things. First of all, you force yourself to smile. If you are alone, you force yourself to whistle or hum a tune or sing. Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy.
If this advice sounds familiar, it is because it is the main point in almost all self-help books on the planet. Of course, the advantage of the smile more have some scientific value, but it too tends to have the opposite effect. In any case, everything seems to depend a little too optimistic for my taste.

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However, this does not mean that many of How to Win Friends is not good. I agree that the best way to get people to like you is to show a serious interest in them, listen and ask the right questions. Similarly, many Carnegie tips to unite people around their thinking boils down to just being nice and friendly to the view of others. All very good, but often found myself dozing when reading examples in excess Carnegie passes through to test very simple ideas. Although the core of their suggestions are still often the case, 80 years later, examples of dry and obsolete. They include all kinds of things that are difficult to identify with it now, as annotate anniversary, an extensive example of collecting stamps, and a story about politely disagree with the police.

Despite the lack of sophistication in some of these suggestions, everything is pretty harmless. Part trouble tends to come when all the “serious” part integrated into a large number of jumps Carnegie suggestions.

For example, when the Carnegie suggests encouraging people to talk about themselves, it is easy to see how when you take the wrong path, that is as regards false to get what you want. Similarly, the notion of ‘winners’ friends turns people together in a game, making friendship sound like a trivial thing. When you read this way, the advice in the book is often out of operation at best manipulation at its worst. The worst example of this comes from chapter seven, which is the chapter Charles Manson used most. In fact, according to biographer Jeff Guinn Manson, Manson used many Carnegie verbatim techniques.

“Chapter Seven: How to get cooperation,” seems harmless enough, but the key point is the above Let’s take a look at the strangest example in “Let the other person feel the idea is his where he “.:

Let the other person feel that the idea is his work not only in business and politics works in family life. Paul Davis, Tulsa, Oklahoma, told his class how this principle:

“My family and I spent a most interesting excursions on holiday we’ve ever had. I had long dreamed of visiting historic sites such as the battlefield of the Civil War at Gettysburg, Independence Hall in Philadelphia, and the capital of our country. Valley Forge, James-town and the restored colonial village of Williamsburg were high on the list of things I wanted to see.

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“In March my wife, Nancy, mentioned that he had ideas for our summer vacation which included a tour of western states, attractions, New Mexico, Arizona, California and Nevada visit. I wanted to make this trip for many years. But obviously, we could not make two trips.

“Our daughter, Anne, I had just finished a history lesson of the United States in high school and became very interested in the events that shaped the growth of our country. I asked how you want to visit places he had learned on our next vacation. she said she would. “Two nights later, sitting around the table, Nancy announced that if we all agree, the summer holidays would be the eastern states, that it would make a great trip for Anne and exciting for all of us . all agree. ”
In short, the example described deceive a woman to take vacation guy wants to help his son to plant the idea in the minds of women. Maybe I’m the one who heals in this case, but the manipulative tactic seems. Read the wrong direction, in this example, as well as almost everything else in the “means twelve to win people to your way of thinking” section has a rather bad taste to it. Which all goes to say that when you read How make friends with an eye for the handling, is a guide to getting what you want.

How Carnegie lessons are incorporated into their lives, it is entirely up to you. When it comes to How to Win Friends and Influence People, there are two very different readings from the reason you are reading. If you are in sales or deal with people on a company level, it is a framework that many find useful, especially in what they are learning the ropes of dealing with people in a business environment. Similarly, if you have trouble with friendships because it’s hard to know how to react in social situations, which provides guidance, although simple, do it. However, at the other end, if you are looking for ways to get what you want by any means necessary, certainly. There are manipulative tactics here to persuade people to his way of thinking.

Personally, I think a lot of suggestions from Carnegie simplifying or bad faith. I would say that insincerity is actually well in many circumstances, but not where I tend to find myself. Although I doubt struggled with many “is people” or social concerns, I do not feel better equipped to face these struggles after reading this.